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Freelance journalist/WAHM. Ringmaster of The Wild Rumpus blog. TV addict. Hip-hop head. Shoe enthusiast. Animal lover. Coffeeholic. Twit. Alias: Mommy. #binders

697 Following   705 Followers   912 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/20/09

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A riveting game of hide and seek at 6:30 am. I may or may not have pretended I couldn't find them while I drank a cup of coffee.
3/25
2015
It Was a Big Year -- Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea! http://t.co/87waEQMv53
3/23
2015
"A handsome man, bringing me greasy Chinese food? Mmm, that's what I want." #lifetimequotes"Stalked by My Neighbor" on Lifetime right now. That is all. #saturdaynight2yo's first night in toddler bed. I should probably be drinking Red Bull instead because tiny footsteps upstairs. http://t.co/EYC7RS7LHGSpring in New England has arrived. :/ https://t.co/ftDrjCji5x
3/21
2015
Both of my kids ate all of their dinner without complaining. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a lottery ticket now.What's your root-file song, the one that plays when nothing else is going on in your head? http://t.co/xYXecl1VRN
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@MariaMelee What a treat! Enjoy.Life is a Slam Dunk http://t.co/bUK75cObIB #basketball #kindergarten #marchmadness
3/19
2015
Life is a Slam Dunk #basketball #kindergarten #boys http://t.co/bUK75cwAk1@Maisy_F Thanks for sharing this, Maisy, hope you can make it to the #BlogParty :)
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@yadadarcyyada Happy to -- I love a party. I'm coming, but will be fashionably late. Gotta get these kids down for naps. :)Come to the #BlogParty and share your #blog info!!! March Madness Spring Fling Blog Party http://t.co/5FphCc4aAE via @yadadarcyyada
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezNew product idea: Caffeine patch. Apply to get enough energy to make a cup of coffee.
3/18
2015
Wind storm = 32 lb. dog sitting on my lap (and laptop). If only she had gas, too. That would be awesome Oh, wait...Blocked http://t.co/b8plRv5lUW
3/17
2015
It's amazing how quickly a stellar afternoon can turn into an overflowing wine glass kind of evening. #parenting#thatface http://t.co/Wm5lbXcd4P
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezI can hear them playing Simon Says through the door of 2yo's gymnastics class. Hope it goes better than Mommy Says, which is always a wash.There is no such thing as too many prints when a toddler dresses themselves.
3/16
2015
I'm drinking delicious red wine, paired with string cheese. One out of two ain't bad.Weekly highlights from my #Shakespeare insult calendar. http://t.co/fVMmPsuvL6“@HuffPostEnt: "The Walking Dead" spinoff will definitely catch up with the original series http://t.co/S4P3Rlv6F0” Can't wait!I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed "take a nap" with "piece of crap" so don't tell me about your parenting skills.
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
3/15
2015
It's one of those nights around here. http://t.co/bS1FUoT5ZyThe very best soap around! "@HonoluluDaily: Shaka Street Soap Works at Anthropologie http://t.co/O9Mmxeyhv4Maternal lie of the day: "It's such a bummer that the new KidZ Bop CD won't be out before our road trip next week!"
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezWhat You Say vs. What Your #Toddler Hears - http://t.co/Q6yOA5H5rs #toddlerlife #todderlogic
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@24HourBitching @WorkingMom86 That's how I feel when people pronounce the L in salmon!A piece of waffle fell off the fork and hit the floor. Meltdown that ensued was more effective than coffee.Archie Warren: The Dog That Used Crosswalks http://t.co/kyTkXOsEde
3/14
2015
To the Complete and Total Strangers From Costco http://t.co/9AbibFkY4D via @scarymommy @chewingcrayons Congrats!Blue Ribbon #Flu >>> That Ain't A Puddle You Want To Jump In by @ChewingCrayons http://t.co/9Ac1lcCUXZ #motherhood http://t.co/a5HiVgenMh
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezI am having a vegetarian corn dog for dinner. Try to keep your jealousy at bay, people.One Lovely Blog Award http://t.co/SD6ugoOe2h via @Maisy_F Thank you @mamalisa4gVote for your favorite #momblogger this week by clicking on your favorites: http://t.co/TBJUs0Tj6v @MompreneurMaria @AmaBellaRosa @Maisy_F
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@MomDrinksWine @ItsFreeAtLast @SteelWrkrWife @coachdanalucas @JezabellMaple :) Thanks for the shout out! Happy Friday!#FF our fellow mommy bloggers: @ItsFreeAtLast @Maisy_F @SteelWrkrWife @coachdanalucas @JezabellMaple CHEERS! http://t.co/ykYY0eBEhc
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
3/13
2015
Gumby Rides a Dinosaur http://t.co/aKPZWM5mOmShopping at Target, no kids. #thepromisedland@MomResource Haha, thanks for checking it out! It was a fun week. :)Ever had THIS talk with your five year old? http://t.co/XKhXFFm5jU via @inlinkz #linkupIf Cinderella was a real woman then she would have never left the shoe behind
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
3/12
2015
Twirling Poop Like It's Her Job http://t.co/DDZCb12BHI*hears loud crash* Me: What are you doing in there? 2yo: Don't worry about what I'm doing! *pours wine before going to living room*
3/11
2015
@est1975blog Happy to! Your blog is hysterical. Love!One of the funniest things I've ever read. all the naked ladies http://t.co/8OKrdWdZqz by @est1975blogWhy didn't anyone tell me I could get my toddler to eat anything by just pretending I'm going to eat it? #problemsolved #parenting
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
3/10
2015
Everything is awesome! And by everything, I mean bedtime.@LetMeStart My 2yo wears pink glasses and they are a hit wherever she goes. Kids in glasses are adorable!In the past two days, I found two boogers and three Rapunzel stamps on various walls. So, the home decor is going pretty well.Sunset & Giraffe, Botswana http://t.co/cm9yZGYGWn
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezIt would really be spring break for me if the school took the kids for a whole week.
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
3/9
2015
Totally awesome wallpaper at a birthday party venue today. I kind of want this for my basement.… https://t.co/pNXA04s63JLittle known fact: Rear view mirrors were actually invented so parents could oversee all the arguing that happens in the backseat.Ice Cube had his good day. This is the #parenting version. http://t.co/P8lZ2fYbyM #mblogger #pbloggerDaylight savings time: The one day a year the kids sleep past 7 am.
3/8
2015
I added my link to: http://t.co/hta2E5f0Bh http://t.co/iNmesFh3HS via @inlinkz #mblogger #pbloggerGoing to set the clock on my microwave forward one hour tonight so it constantly blinks 1:00 instead of 12:00.
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezGumby is riding a velociraptor that is eating Diego. Just a normal Saturday morning around here. https://t.co/rpps1flTf4Me: Can you speak in a quiet voice? Dad is sleeping. 5: THIS IS MY QUIET VOICE!!!! Sadly, he's not lying.I bet the person who invented ear plugs came up with idea after living with small children. Calgon, take me away.
3/7
2015
The noise level at the dinner table is equal to standing in front of the speakers at a metal concert. #parentingHeading to Target with no mini-mes in tow. The joy I feel when this happens cannot be expressed in 140 characters.
3/6
2015
@fullbellysis Thanks for sharing! :)It Was a Good Day: The Parent Version http://t.co/RBS5dy320k via @Maisy_F
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezJust went shopping, found exactly what I was looking for -- on sale -- and didn't set foot into one children's store. Triumph!@Dadmissions opposites! I've been in Boston five years, but grew up on the West Coast (Washington).good read: http://t.co/1QLyX5bXj1
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
3/5
2015
If I'm not answering a question about farts or math, it's a pretty good day. http://t.co/P8lZ2gfMqkI love that the first place my kids just looked for me during hide and seek was the fridge. New on my resume: Contortionist Mom.@ChewingCrayons Awesome!! It was only a matter of time. Love your stuff. Can't wait to hear how that pans out! Exciting!@ChewingCrayons You totally deserve it. You're a brilliant writer with great stories! Congrats!
3/4
2015
@GhostwriterJG haha! Love it! And same. I was always sad I couldn't achieve the bang height of other girls' hair, but now I am grateful.@GhostwriterJG Permed, ratted, sprayed within an inch of its life. Now and forever on display in my mother's living room. 😳@GhostwriterJG That era is full of senior portrait regrets. Mine: Hot pink MC Hammer pants.You know you live in Boston when you see the 30th severe weather warning in 35 days and you're just, like, *shrug.*
3/3
2015
It's about that time. #Monday #hoguecellars #malbec https://t.co/vD5FmYSFlNI am letting my wine aerate... in my mouth.Revenge is gonna be sweet. http://t.co/kQHlDnoMw1
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
3/2
2015
Both kids up since 5:30. Am currently pouring coffee into my eyeballs and refereeing an argument over pan lids. Send help.
2/28
2015
For less than $20, you can feel like a new person. #MAC #lipstick #beauty https://t.co/QOqgTynOEO
2/27
2015
I could read War and Peace in the time it takes my kids to eat dinner.Girl Scout cookie serving size: one sleeve.
2/25
2015
7 degrees out, so the school bus will inevitably be late. I wish you really *could* freeze your ass off. Great spring fitness plan!It is -12 outside. My neighbor is wearing a pair of shorts and sandals to take his dog out. That's a hardcore New Englander for ya. Sheesh!Having "The Talk" With My Five-Year-Old http://t.co/h2HSZFXr54 via @Maisy_F
2/24
2015
#parenting http://t.co/h2HSZGf1WC@sara71081 I went with the zombies, but am back with the glam now. It's nice to switch from decomposing bodies with botoxed ones.
2/23
2015
@moms_random We must have the same designer! #runwayready@Maisy_F Oscars! I'm all decked out in my best tshirt and yoga pants and I even have some spit up accents on my shoulder. #bestdressed
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezWhat are you watching tonight: The Walking Dead or the Oscars?@LizA_from_LA Me too. Fascinating and depressing. I have a love/hate relationship with that show.@LizA_from_LA Have you seen the one with all the dead cats stored in the fridge and freezer? Horror show!The Biggest of Virtual Hugs http://t.co/f9Xm5qpmZj
2/22
2015
Letting my kids dress me for a week taught me a few things. http://t.co/uCSSLvwpan via @Maisy_F #styleIf eating my body weight in mango curry is wrong, I don't want to be right.
2/21
2015
If you've ever said the phrase "Hey. Potatoes aren't supposed to fly," You might be a mom
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezSweat pants, a bottle of wine and four baskets of laundry to fold. #FridayNight #livingthedream
2/20
2015
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