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News Editor (whatever that is) at @empiremagazine, host of the Empire Podcast, and Q&A-hole. It's ok. I wouldn't follow me either. Footy tweets @ChrisHewittLFC.

843 Following   22,239 Followers   56,621 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/11/09

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@Miss_EBP He's a lying bastard. You'd be hard pressed to find one woman prepared to pretend to be James May. @ChrisHewitt @williambroome
Retweeted by Chris HewittThis guy (via @williambroome)
Retweeted by Chris HewittI've never been to Notting Hill Carnival cos it always clashes with my not wanting to go.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@DapperDan Most of them not even close to being reds either.Got back safely last night, then straight to bed with a thunderbastard migraine. What a day. Thanks for all the entertrainment, Twitter.@mar_gar_ine That's a very generous offer. I may even flush.@kerihw @Ryan741 #bantz #banterhashtag@mar_gar_ine It's clearly having the opposite intended effect.@JohannaEllison They probably have. Science says it's bunkum, sadly. I say science is bunkum! BUNKUM!@nclowe ONLY YOU@ChrisBlyth This is madness.@WunHeart I don't want interesting. I want 'unobstructed qualification for the Champions League'. Wishful thinking.@bebyish Physically. Not emotionally.@GlennHirst It seems like an unusual choice.@AudenC_ On a train, passing through.
My ride's here. #SSDExecutor #SizeDoesMatter #StarWars
Retweeted by Chris HewittOutbreak of LAD BANTZ in Coach F.@moogs_lumox Usherettes. The Iveagh Cinema in Banbridge had the same staff for years. A collection of very sweet old ladies.@Beggar_So A lot. They don't understand, man! They weren't there!@tobysbeard Can't go wrong with either of those. And Andy from Parks and Rec.@JonathanMClose As long as I can remember. I don't like 'em. Especially don't understand them for good movies. If it's good, let us say so.@hiddlestigress OVER TWO HOURS@jamieandaston Stephen King.@smilefadesfast Someone beat me to it. Train's so crowded I had to plump for the aisle.@martingreaves1 I don't think so. An interesting movie? Maybe.@RosskoKeniston Well, there's that. Sorry for all the things I wrote.@needtofeelloki I've been drooling a lot more recently.@jackstar_jag Because I'm a raging moron. I would've thought that would be obvious at this point.@NemoBjrk NCIS.@Lisibell_87 The first, then the second. Tastier that way.@UpturnedBathtub I can't say on here. Not yet. All will be revealed very soon. And I didn't stand you up. I Shoreditched you.@hiddlestigress I have no idea! Never run a marathon, never had a hangover. I would imagine having a hangover after a marathon is not ideal.@FIGODeputyRep That is quite amusing.This is amazing. Giving Bond the respect he cocking well deserves. Civil War. Hands down. By a country mile.@TriciaWhatley Years ago.@FionaUnderhill Sometimes I'm overjoyed that a new Star Wars is coming. Sometimes, it fills me with fear. What if it's not amazing?@sarahdonnelly24 Evil Dead II.@Scrippsy48 I don't. I didn't even know there was such a theory.@LaPotts Never had one signing I always went to. Vanden Borre was always a beast at RB, though.@TheLukedog Don't have the data plan to do that.@huvudfoting I did. It was ludicrous. Problem with Liverpool is, they're absolutely shit.@mayajblu That's very nice. My current reality is a headache, a cramped table and a very slow-moving train.@FIGODeputyRep Damn good question. Lennie from Of Mice And Men.@HettyFilms They're all equally diabolical.@spacemonkey95 Grosse Pointe Blank.@wlsnjk 41. It's not the answer to life, the universe and everything, but it'll do.@The_Mince What game? I have no recollection of any game today.I'm on a three-hour train journey with happy West Ham fans. And I have a headache. Entertain me. Cheer me. Tell me things, ask me things.@WilliamFriedkin Happy birthday, sir. Am currently transporting your cake over a rickety rope bridge in a storm. Might take a while.@CharlesBarkham Are you talking about Dawn or Day? Sounds like you're talking about Dawn.@Scientits September 25. All good bookstores...@ChrisBlyth Whole section dedicated to the inferior sequel, yep.@hiddlestigress Who's Sterling? Indeed.@paul_tomkins It's taught me so much. That was a fun game today. I'm so glad we're not missing £££S STERLING.@megadaz Last of the Summer Ectoplasm?@stewartjallan @empiremagazine @HelenLOHara @NickdeSemlyen And it was a Holbrook ancestor whose betrayal pissed off Blake in The Fog.@darahawk Thank you. I don't remember what it was, but I'm sure it was intentional.@ste_routledge Weirdly, I'm blaming the eleven planks on the pitch.@CharlesBarkham Nope. That samples a bit of library music from Dawn of the Dead.Terrible result in the football. Luckily, this statue of Ken Dodd at Liverpool Lime Street cheered me… Have you read A Monster Calls? So heartbreaking.Made a note in my diary on the way back from Anfield. Simply says, 'bugger'.Pointed bit of graffiti outside Anfield. Whatever could it mean? about busting makes me feel good. Cracking book, out at the end of September. certainly not. I'm a mobile man too. But I tend to type with my fingers. Having said that, this is all thumbs. #interestingIf anyone played my Periscope OST quiz, this is the Gorillaz track that samples the opening of Day Of The Dead. It's not FIFA, and yet I want to play it.Think I got away with it. You'll pry this seat from my cold, dead arse. No, wait a second, that doesn't sound right.@FilmFanatic85 I don't give a fig, man.We're now approaching Milton Keynes. The day of seat reckoning draws near. #pray4Hewitt@ste_routledge YEPPERS@Gary_Bainbridge Harsh, but fair. I'd leave the country too, but I'm stuck with me.The lengths people will go to to avoid me when I visit their home city. Nothing personal, right @Gary_Bainbridge? a train, bound for Liverpool. Playing seat roulette by sitting in a seat that's reserved after we hit Milton Keynes. Tension palpable.@drushgrove @jamiesont #brokenbritain@ianinshanghai No. I type with my fingers.-The thieves are getting away! -Not yet! -Drafts Folder Man! -I'll hit them with... Oh, here's a funny one about the Tories. -We're screwed.@jamiesont Much as I'm not a huge advocate of people or things getting in the sea, this person can absolutely get the hell in the sea.David Cameron supports West Ham and Aston Villa, proving there are two sides to every Tory.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Scientits ONLY ZOD WILL JUDGE MEI've started favouriting things. I was worried that once I started, I might get addicted, but not yet. *favourites your worst tweets*Imagine being run over by a reversing car and this image is the last thing you see...
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt.@TomFelton I'd rather it was you than anyone else alive, son. Just don't fuck it up. Besides, it's one all:
Retweeted by Chris HewittI bought a load of moving boxes the other day, but they haven't made me cry once. #sorry #sosorry@MovieMalone No idea! #happytohelp (I imagine not, though.)Had top fun with that Periscope quiz. Thanks for playing. And just look at those numbers! I want my own show... NOW. on #Periscope: Soundtrack Quiz with a very tired Chris Hewitt from Empire magazine. Ooh, that'll be fun.
@andyat80 Down with this sort of thing.That's just crude. Let's do it. @indytim @BluestStocking Yes, that is the question. I think Groot just about qualifies.In this week's Empire Podcast, @edskrein and I end up talking about Liverpool FC rather too much. Oops. @steffancole What if he says, 'Han Solo, I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon'? WHAT THEN?@monkey1138 No, doctor.@indytim @steffancole And Han Solo's is 'Han Solo, captain of the Millennium Falcon'. It's still a statement of his name, isn't it? ARGH!@FionaUnderhill @indytim Nope. That's not his first line. I just double-checked on the YouTube.A technicality, but that's definitely one! Film character.Well, Twitter?
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